Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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