Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
