My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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