She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
This is the high leading the old right now
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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