The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
