I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize