u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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