I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
