it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize