is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
