That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
