PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I believe in your delicious
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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