He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
