If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
