I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
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