The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
