have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
