u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Found the puke drawer
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
