I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You pole danced in your parka.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
