if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
