I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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