my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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