True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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