Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
