so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
