**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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