Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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