So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
How naked do you want me to be?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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