I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
