I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
my poor anus
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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