apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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