apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
ugly people sure do ruin things
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
