No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
