Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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