There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
wow bdsm is so cute
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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