I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm too high and old for this...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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