He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
