she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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