That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
