I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize