Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
