im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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