I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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