I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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