Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
