i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
