Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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