i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
