Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I want her autograph on my taint
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
