I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
