I accidentally burped into my bong.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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