I must be too annoying 4 u.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
