sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
