At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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