You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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