the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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