her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
