I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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