Hey man sorry I got all grabby
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
