stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
