why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
